When Is A Little White Lie Okay?
Let’s be honest: we’ve all told a white lie – once, twice… okay, maybe a few times. But research has shown that the art of the little white lie is actually a good thing when: a) it’s not over-used and b) you use it in the appropriate circumstances.
SITUATION 1: When You Need To Be Tactful
Your friend gets a new haircut and asks excitedly: “So? What do you think?” While your first instinct might be to be brutally honest and reply that it looks as if she let her seven-year-old niece play hairdresser, it would be wise to rethink this – especially if you don’t want the dynamics of your friendship to change. Being tactful is actually another art in itself, and it can take a while to get the knack of it, but tactfulness goes a long way when it comes to saving your neck! So bite your tongue, take a deep breath and (tactfully) tell your friend what she wants to hear.
SITUATION 2: When You Need To Get Out Of Serious Trouble
“My boyfriend is quite messy, while I am freakishly neat and tidy, and his untidiness is usually the cause of our fights,” says Mia. “One day, I got so frustrated that I overturned the dining room table and all his worldly possessions went flying. When he got home, he asked why his things were lying on the floor and I just replied, ‘Honey, the wind blew it off the table!”
Sometimes telling a little white lie is your only choice, especially when you can envision the dire consequences of having the truth be told!
SITUATION 3: When You’re Willing To Take The Blame For Someone Else
“My sister Sandi used to date a guy with a BMW that he was paranoid about,” says Lukhanyo. “So, one day, Sandi decided to take the car down to the shop. She drove into a pole and because she’s my little sister and I love her to bits, I ended up telling her boy-friend that I was actually the one who had ‘borrowed’ his precious car and damaged it. Because I was his girlfriend’s brother, he couldn’t do what he really wanted to (i.e. punch me in the face a few times) so he accepted my apology and grudgingly told me not to worry about it. Sandi was off the hook, but Mr BMW and I never became good friends!” Lukhanyo laughs.
Telling a little white lie can be harmless, especially if it prevents someone from getting hurt. Just make sure you know the difference between a little white lie and a full-blown lie that could make the situation even worse than if you'd just told the truth in the first place.
