Talking To Your Kids About Sex

The danger years where kids are likely to try new things – without realising the risks – are starting earlier and earlier. By now, between their parents, school and information they’ve picked up in magazines and television, they probably have a pretty good idea of what AIDS is and how you can get it, as well as what causes pregnancy. But we’re still seeing many young girls becoming pregnant at school. So how do we help these kids protect themselves?

According to LoveLife, the more open and trusting relationship you have with your children the more likely it is you will be able to help them make good choices about the difficult challenges of growing up in South Africa. They suggest you start with questions that show you’re comfortable talking with your child about difficult things such as:

“Do you know if any of your friends use drugs and what do you think of that?”

Remember, your child’s safety always comes first. Here are some tips from LoveLife:

• Share your values with your children.
• Let them talk to you without interruption – even if it is hard to listen.
• Explain why you do what you do – kids want to know why things are the way they are – give reasons for your decisions.
• Accept that your children’s values may be different to yours.
• Remember change takes time – talk often.
• Never use the threat of violence to get your child to change.
• Talk about fun and interesting things – not just the tough stuff.
• Build their confidence by praising them for what they are good at.
• Tell them about your fears, such as “I’m really worried you’ll have sex and get pregnant/catch the HIV virus, so I want you to know as much as you can so in the end you can decide.”
• Leave booklets and magazines around the house. This will make it easier for them to pick up good information.
• Give them privacy when they ask for it.

And remember:

• Your child is different from you.
• Things have changed. You may need to change too.
• You will never be a perfect parent, but you can become a confident one.
• You can only do your best.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help.