I Don’t Love My Husband

Q: I married a person who I don’t love. He is fine and we have three kids together. I thought love would come, but I’m stressed all the time and I can’t sleep; and the relationship is depressing.

A: What is it about your husband that made you marry him? You must have felt good enough about your relationship to believe that things would work out even though you were not in love. People can live in life-long relationships without being in love with their spouse, and without reaching the depression you have described. They still manage to enjoy the good things their spouse has to offer.

Often 10 years into a marriage, one can feel a sense of being bored or frustrated, or wanting more. This can happen even if you do love the person you are married to. I don’t want to make your pain sound trivial; I think that you may genuinely be depressed, but giving up on your marriage may not be the solution to your problems.
Find a psychologist to help you find the true source of how you are feeling. If you can’t afford counselling, contact Life-Line (0861 322 322) or Famsa (011 975 7106/7). Try to work through this without destroying your marriage.

You may be right that your relationship is the problem, but you may be able to fix it or you may have to let it go. Make sure for the good of your family and yourself that you are not the one who is the problem because you are depressed. The cause of your depression may have very little to do with your marriage.