Cheating Boyfriend
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and four months. We live together at my place. The problem is, he cheats on me. He is 29 years old and I am 34. Do you think it is because of the age difference? He likes to go out every weekend. If he leaves on Friday to work in the morning, he comes back late, like three or four o’clock the next morning. He does this the whole weekend. I’m not saying that he mustn’t go out, but he must have a time limit. Do you think I’m over reacting?
A: Actually, I think you’re under reacting. I don’t think the age difference between you has anything to do with it. I marvel at the generosity with which you seem to approach this matter. I’d like you to consider the answers to the following questions:
- Who pays for the place you stay in?
- Who cleans it, and runs the house?
- Who pays for all of the partying your boyfriend does?
- Does he contribute to living costs at all?
Why would he want to move on, when he’s living a life of luxury? There is a saying which goes, “why would he buy the cow, if he’s getting the milk for free?” The saying usually refers to someone living out of wedlock and getting all of the benefits without much effort on his part, including sex.
This man is using you. It seems to me that you are playing the role of a parent in his life. You provide the stability and the home, and he gets to go out and have fun (like a teenager with no responsibilities). Don’t give him a curfew. Explain that he needs to leave by the end of the month. He isn’t contributing emotionally to your relationship with him. If he wants a mother, send him home. You deserve better than this.
