5 Ways To Get Back That Loving Feeling

Most of us know it’s unrealistic to expect the first flush of love to last forever. Today, there are many steps you can take to get back the loving feeling so important for keeping a long-term relationship fulfilling, happy and strong.

1. Don't Just Accept It
There is no “right” amount of sex, and so long as you and your partner are both genuinely content, that’s all that matters. But if you’re not, decide now to do something about it, or resentment or simple boredom can erode your relationship.
 
2. Communicate
Talk to your partner – without criticism. If you don’t ask for what you want, you may never get it! If your partner’s habits or behaviour are a turn-off, or you feel neglected or taken for granted, talk to them about it. Communicate through actions as well as words, doing for them what you’d like them to do for you. Start with little acts of everyday loving kindness and consideration.

3. Stay In Shape
Don’t let your hygiene, health and appearance slack over the years. Go for regular medical check-ups, discuss exercising and preparing healthy meals together, cutting back on alcohol and quitting smoking – if they won’t join you initially, lead by example.

4. Get Help
If you still battle to get in the mood, see a doctor to rule out possible biological or medical reasons and have your hormone levels checked. If medical factors are ruled out, the problems may be psychological.

5. Schedule Intimacy
When a relationship is still fresh you can afford to leave lovemaking to the spark of spontaneity, but changing roles and responsibilities often leave little time or energy once careers evolve and children arrive. Plan to spend time together; this can be as simple as sharing a drink in the lounge when the children are in bed, or heading out on a date while someone babysits. The aim is simply to build intimacy, affection and friendship.

Feeling Connected?
Try this fun quiz to help you determine how connected you're feeling with your partner.

1. I told my partner that I loved him/her today.
a. Yes
b. No

2. I listened to my partner when they needed someone to listen to them in the past week.
a. Yes, nearly all the time
b. No, barely

3. I spent time thinking about what life would be without my partner this past week.
a. Yes
b. No

4. I did something nice and unexpected for my partner this past week.
a. Yes
b. No

5. My partner did something nice and unexpected for me this past week.
a. Yes
b. No

Mostly A’s:
You're Quite Connected!
You're feeling connected, and that's great! It means that you and your partner are on the same page in your relationship, and that you're both feeling pretty good about it. When conflict arises, you deal with it appropriately and move on. Be happy with your feelings of connectedness! Many relationships do not have this level of connectedness, even if they've been together for a while. Keep in mind that every relationship experiences a natural ebb and flow. Occasional feelings of disconnectedness are normal and you should in no way be disappointed or unhappy when they arrive. In the meantime, enjoy the connection you share with your partner!

Mostly B’s:
You're a Little Disconnected!
You appear to be feeling a little disconnected at the moment. This is nothing to worry about, because most people in have times when they feel a little disconnected from their partner and their partner's feelings. We all get caught up in everyday life, and the stress associated with it, from time to time. But keeping the channels of communication open, and making time to devote to your partner, is an important part to making a relationship work in the long term. You're not that disconnected, so now's a good time to focus on sharing with your partner and become reconnected today.